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IN the High and
Far-Off Times the Elephant, O Best Beloved, had no trunk. He had
only a blackish, bulgy nose, as big as a boot, that he could
wriggle about from side to side; but he couldn't pick up things
with it. But there was one Elephant--a new Elephant--an Elephant's
Child--who was full of insatiable curiosity, and that means he
asked ever so many questions. And he lived in Africa, and he filled
all Africa with his 'satiable curtiosities. He asked his tall aunt,
the Ostrich, why her tail-feathers grew just so, and his tall aunt
the Ostrich spanked him with her hard, hard claw. He asked his tall
uncle, the Giraffe, what made his skin spotty, and his tall uncle,
the Giraffe, spanked him with his hard, hard hoof. And still he was
full of 'satiable curtiosity! He asked his broad aunt, the
Hippopotamus, why her eyes were red, and his broad aunt, the
Hippopotamus, spanked him with her broad, broad hoof; and he asked
his hairy uncle, the Baboon, why melons tasted just so, and his
hairy uncle, the Baboon, spanked him with his hairy, hairy paw. And
still he was full of 'satiable curtiosity! He asked questions about
everything that he saw, or heard, or felt, or smelt, or touched,
and all his uncles and his aunts spanked him. And still he was full
of 'satiable curtiosity!
One fine morning in the middle of the Precession of the Equinoxes
this 'satiable Elephant's Child asked a new fine question that he
had never asked before. He asked, 'What does the Crocodile have for
dinner?' Then everybody said, 'Hush!' in a loud and dretful tone,
and they spanked him immediately and directly, without stopping,
for a long time.
By and by, when that was finished, he came upon Kolokolo Bird
sitting in the middle of a wait-a-bit thorn-bush, and he said, 'My
father has spanked me, and my mother has spanked me; all my aunts
and uncles have spanked me for my 'satiable curtiosity; and still I
want to know what the Crocodile has for dinner!'
Then Kolokolo Bird said, with a mournful cry, 'Go to the banks of
the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo River, all set about with
fever-trees, and find out.'
That very next morning, when there was nothing left of the
Equinoxes, because the Precession had preceded according to
precedent, this 'satiable Elephant's Child took a hundred pounds of
bananas (the little short red kind), and a hundred pounds of
sugar-cane (the long purple kind), and seventeen melons (the greeny-crackly
kind), and said to all his dear families, 'Goodbye. I am going to
the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo River, all set about with
fever-trees, to find out what the Crocodile has for dinner.' And
they all spanked him once more for luck, though he asked them most
politely to stop.
Then he went away, a little warm, but not at all astonished, eating
melons, and throwing the rind about, because he could not pick it
up.
He went from Graham's Town to Kimberley, and from Kimberley to
Khama's Country, and from Khama's Country he went east by north,
eating melons all the time, till at last he came to the banks of
the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo River, all set about with
fever-trees, precisely as Kolokolo Bird had said.
Now you must know and understand, O Best Beloved, that till that
very week, and day, and hour, and minute, this 'satiable Elephant's
Child had never seen a Crocodile, and did not know what one was
like. It was all his 'satiable curtiosity.
The first thing that he found was a Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake
curled round a rock.
''Scuse me,' said the Elephant's Child most politely, 'but have you
seen such a thing as a Crocodile in these promiscuous parts?'
'Have I seen a Crocodile?' said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake,
in a voice of dretful scorn. 'What will you ask me next?'
''Scuse me,' said the Elephant's Child, 'but could you kindly tell
me what he has for dinner?'
Then the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake uncoiled himself very
quickly from the rock, and spanked the Elephant's Child with his
scalesome, flailsome tail.
'That is odd,' said the Elephant's Child, 'because my father and my
mother, and my uncle and my aunt, not to mention my other aunt, the
Hippopotamus, and my other uncle, the Baboon, have all spanked me
for my 'satiable curtiosity--and I suppose this is the same thing.
So he said good-bye very politely to the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake,
and helped to coil him up on the rock again, and went on, a little
warm, but not at all astonished, eating melons, and throwing the
rind about, because he could not pick it up, till he trod on what
he thought was a log of wood at the very edge of the great
grey-green, greasy Limpopo River, all set about with fever-trees.
But it was really the Crocodile, O Best Beloved, and the Crocodile
winked one eye--like this!
''Scuse me,' said the Elephant's Child most politely, 'but do you
happen to have seen a Crocodile in these promiscuous parts?'
Then the Crocodile winked the other eye, and lifted half his tail
out of the mud; and the Elephant's Child stepped back most
politely, because he did not wish to be spanked again.
'Come hither, Little One,' said the Crocodile. 'Why do you ask such
things?'
''Scuse me,' said the Elephant's Child most politely, 'but my
father has spanked me, my mother has spanked me, not to mention my
tall aunt, the Ostrich, and my tall uncle, the Giraffe, who can
kick ever so hard, as well as my broad aunt, the Hippopotamus, and
my hairy uncle, the Baboon, and including the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake,
with the scalesome, flailsome tail, just up the bank, who spanks
harder than any of them; and so, if it's quite all the same to you,
I don't want to be spanked any more.'
'Come hither, Little One,' said the Crocodile, 'for I am the
Crocodile,' and he wept crocodile-tears to show it was quite true.
Then the Elephant's Child grew all breathless, and panted, and
kneeled down on the bank and said, 'You are the very person I have
been looking for all these long days. Will you please tell me what
you have for dinner?'
'Come hither, Little One,' said the Crocodile, 'and I'll whisper.'
Then the Elephant's Child put his head down close to the
Crocodile's musky, tusky mouth, and the Crocodile caught him by his
little nose, which up to that very week, day, hour, and minute, had
been no bigger than a boot, though much more useful.
'I think, said the Crocodile--and he said it between his teeth,
like this--'I think to-day I will begin with Elephant's Child!'
At this, O Best Beloved, the Elephant's Child was much annoyed, and
he said, speaking through his nose, like this, 'Led go! You are
hurtig be!'
Then the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake scuffled down from the bank
and said, 'My young friend, if you do not now, immediately and
instantly, pull as hard as ever you can, it is my opinion that your
acquaintance in the large-pattern leather ulster' (and by this he
meant the Crocodile) 'will jerk you into yonder limpid stream
before you can say Jack Robinson.'
This is the way Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snakes always talk.
Then the Elephant's Child sat back on his little haunches, and
pulled, and pulled, and pulled, and his nose began to stretch. And
the Crocodile floundered into the water, making it all creamy with
great sweeps of his tail, and he pulled, and pulled, and pulled.
And the Elephant's Child's nose kept on stretching; and the
Elephant's Child spread all his little four legs and pulled, and
pulled, and pulled, and his nose kept on stretching; and the
Crocodile threshed his tail like an oar, and he pulled, and pulled,
and pulled, and at each pull the Elephant's Child's nose grew
longer and longer--and it hurt him hijjus!
Then the Elephant's Child felt his legs slipping, and he said
through his nose, which was now nearly five feet long, 'This is too
butch for be!'
Then the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake came down from the bank, and
knotted himself in a double-clove-hitch round the Elephant's
Child's hind legs, and said, 'Rash and inexperienced traveller, we
will now seriously devote ourselves to a little high tension,
because if we do not, it is my impression that yonder
self-propelling man-of-war with the armour-plated upper deck' (and
by this, O Best Beloved, he meant the Crocodile), 'will permanently
vitiate your future career.
That is the way all Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snakes always talk.
So he pulled, and the Elephant's Child pulled, and the Crocodile
pulled; but the Elephant's Child and the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake
pulled hardest; and at last the Crocodile let go of the Elephant's
Child's nose with a plop that you could hear all up and down the
Limpopo.
Then the Elephant's Child sat down most hard and sudden; but first
he was careful to say 'Thank you' to the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake;
and next he was kind to his poor pulled nose, and wrapped it all up
in cool banana leaves, and hung it in the great grey-green, greasy
Limpopo to cool.
'What are you doing that for?' said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake.
''Scuse me,' said the Elephant's Child, 'but my nose is badly out
of shape, and I am waiting for it to shrink.
'Then you will have to wait a long time, said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake.
'Some people do not know what is good for them.'
The Elephant's Child sat there for three days waiting for his nose
to shrink. But it never grew any shorter, and, besides, it made him
squint. For, O Best Beloved, you will see and understand that the
Crocodile had pulled it out into a really truly trunk same as all
Elephants have to-day.
At the end of the third day a fly came and stung him on the
shoulder, and before he knew what he was doing he lifted up his
trunk and hit that fly dead with the end of it.
''Vantage number one!' said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake. 'You
couldn't have done that with a mere-smear nose. Try and eat a
little now.'
Before he thought what he was doing the Elephant's Child put out
his trunk and plucked a large bundle of grass, dusted it clean
against his fore-legs, and stuffed it into his own mouth.
'Vantage number two!' said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake. 'You
couldn't have done that with a mear-smear nose. Don't you think the
sun is very hot here?'
'It is,' said the Elephant's Child, and before he thought what he
was doing he schlooped up a schloop of mud from the banks of the
great grey-green, greasy Limpopo, and slapped it on his head, where
it made a cool schloopy-sloshy mud-cap all trickly behind his ears.
'Vantage number three!' said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake.
'You couldn't have done that with a mere-smear nose. Now how do you
feel about being spanked again?'
''Scuse me,' said the Elephant's Child, 'but I should not like it
at all.'
'How would you like to spank somebody?' said the Bi- Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake.
'I should like it very much indeed,' said the Elephant's Child.
'Well,' said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake, 'you will find that
new nose of yours very useful to spank people with.'
'Thank you,' said the Elephant's Child, 'I'll remember that; and
now I think I'll go home to all my dear families and try.'
So the Elephant's Child went home across Africa frisking and
whisking his trunk. When he wanted fruit to eat he pulled fruit
down from a tree, instead of waiting for it to fall as he used to
do. When he wanted grass he plucked grass up from the ground,
instead of going on his knees as he used to do. When the flies bit
him he broke off the branch of a tree and used it as fly-whisk; and
he made himself a new, cool, slushy-squshy mud-cap whenever the sun
was hot. When he felt lonely walking through Africa he sang to
himself down his trunk, and the noise was louder than several brass
bands.
He went especially out of his way to find a broad Hippopotamus (she
was no relation of his), and he spanked her very hard, to make sure
that the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake had spoken the truth about
his new trunk. The rest of the time he picked up the melon rinds
that he had dropped on his way to the Limpopo--for he was a Tidy
Pachyderm.
One dark evening he came back to all his dear families, and he
coiled up his trunk and said, 'How do you do?' They were very glad
to see him, and immediately said, 'Come here and be spanked for
your 'satiable curtiosity.'
'Pooh,' said the Elephant's Child. 'I don't think you peoples know
anything about spanking; but I do, and I'll show you.' Then he
uncurled his trunk and knocked two of his dear brothers head over
heels.
'O Bananas!' said they, 'where did you learn that trick, and what
have you done to your nose?'
'I got a new one from the Crocodile on the banks of the great
grey-green, greasy Limpopo River,' said the Elephant's Child. 'I
asked him what he had for dinner, and he gave me this to keep.'
'It looks very ugly,' said his hairy uncle, the Baboon.
'It does,' said the Elephant's Child. 'But it's very useful,' and
he picked up his hairy uncle, the Baboon, by one hairy leg, and
hove him into a hornet's nest.
Then that bad Elephant's Child spanked all his dear families for a
long time, till they were very warm and greatly astonished. He
pulled out his tall Ostrich aunt's tail-feathers; and he caught his
tall uncle, the Giraffe, by the hind-leg, and dragged him through a
thorn-bush; and he shouted at his broad aunt, the Hippopotamus, and
blew bubbles into her ear when she was sleeping in the water after
meals; but he never let any one touch Kolokolo Bird.
At last things grew so exciting that his dear families went off one
by one in a hurry to the banks of the great grey-green, greasy
Limpopo River, all set about with fever-trees, to borrow new noses
from the Crocodile. When they came back nobody spanked anybody any
more; and ever since that day, O Best Beloved, all the Elephants
you will ever see, besides all those that you won't, have trunks
precisely like the trunk of the 'satiable Elephant's Child.
I Keep six honest serving-men:
(They taught me all I knew)
Their names are What and Where and When
And How and Why and Who.
I send them over land and sea,
I send them east and west;
But after they have worked for me,
I give them all a rest.
I let them rest from nine till five.
For I am busy then,
As well as breakfast, lunch, and tea,
For they are hungry men:
But different folk have different views:
I know a person small--
She keeps ten million serving-men,
Who get no rest at all!
She sends 'em abroad on her own affairs,
From the second she opens her eyes--
One million Hows, two million Wheres,
And seven million Whys!