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The woman had died
without pain, quietly, as a woman should whose life had been
blameless. Now she was resting in her bed, lying on her back, her
eyes closed, her features calm, her long white hair carefully
arranged as though she had done it up ten minutes before dying. The
whole pale countenance of the dead woman was so collected, so calm,
so resigned that one could feel what a sweet soul had lived in that
body, what a quiet existence this old soul had led, how easy and
pure the death of this parent had been.
Kneeling beside the bed, her son, a magistrate with inflexible
principles, and her daughter, Marguerite, known as Sister Eulalie,
were weeping as though their hearts would break. She had, from
childhood up, armed them with a strict moral code, teaching them
religion, without weakness, and duty, without compromise. He, the
man, had become a judge and handled the law as a weapon with which
he smote the weak ones without pity. She, the girl, influenced by
the virtue which had bathed her in this austere family, had become
the bride of the Church through her loathing for man.
They had hardly known their father, knowing only that he had made
their mother most unhappy, without being told any other details.
The nun was wildly-kissing the dead woman's hand, an ivory hand as
white as the large crucifix lying across the bed. On the other side
of the long body the other hand seemed still to be holding the sheet
in the death grasp; and the sheet had preserved the little creases
as a memory of those last movements which precede eternal
immobility.
A few light taps on the door caused the two sobbing heads to look
up, and the priest, who had just come from dinner, returned. He was
red and out of breath from his interrupted digestion, for he had
made himself a strong mixture of coffee and brandy in order to
combat the fatigue of the last few nights and of the wake which was
beginning.
He looked sad, with that assumed sadness of the priest for whom
death is a bread winner. He crossed himself and approaching with his
professional gesture: "Well, my poor children! I have come to help
you pass these last sad hours." But Sister Eulalie suddenly arose.
"Thank you, "father, but my brother and I prefer to remain alone
with her. This is our last chance to see her, and we wish to be
together, all three of us, as we--we--used to be when we were small
and our poor mo--mother----"
Grief and tears stopped her; she could not continue.
Once more serene, the priest bowed, thinking of his bed. "As you
wish, my children." He kneeled, crossed himself, prayed, arose and
went out quietly, murmuring: "She was a saint!"
They remained alone, the dead woman and her children. The ticking of
the clock, hidden in the shadow, could be heard distinctly, and
through the open window drifted in the sweet smell of hay and of
woods, together with the soft moonlight. No other noise could be
heard over the land except the occasional croaking of the frog or
the chirping of some belated insect. An infinite peace, a divine
melancholy, a silent serenity surrounded this dead woman, seemed to
be breathed out from her and to appease nature itself.
Then the judge, still kneeling, his head buried in the bed clothes,
cried in a voice altered by grief and deadened by the sheets and
blankets: "Mamma, mamma, mamma!" And his sister, frantically
striking her forehead against the woodwork, convulsed, twitching and
trembling as in an epileptic fit, moaned: "Jesus, Jesus, mamma,
Jesus!" And both of them, shaken by a storm of grief, gasped and
choked.
The crisis slowly calmed down and they began to weep quietly, just
as on the sea when a calm follows a squall.
A rather long time passed and they arose and looked at their dead.
And the memories, those distant memories, yesterday so dear, to-day
so torturing, came to their minds with all the little forgotten
details, those little intimate familiar details which bring back to
life the one who has left. They recalled to each other
circumstances, words, smiles, intonations of the mother who was no
longer to speak to them. They saw her again happy and calm. They
remembered things which she had said, and a little motion of the
hand, like beating time, which she often used when emphasizing
something important.
And they loved her as they never had loved her before. They measured
the depth of their grief, and thus they discovered how lonely they
would find themselves.
It was their prop, their guide, their whole youth, all the best part
of their lives which was disappearing. It was their bond with life,
their mother, their mamma, the connecting link with their
forefathers which they would thenceforth miss. They now became
solitary, lonely beings; they could no longer look back.
The nun said to her brother: "You remember how mamma used always to
read her old letters; they are all there in that drawer. Let us, in
turn, read them; let us live her whole life through tonight beside
her! It would be like a road to the cross, like making the
acquaintance of her mother, of our grandparents, whom we never knew,
but whose letters are there and of whom she so often spoke, do you
remember?"
Out of the drawer they took about ten little packages of yellow
paper, tied with care and arranged one beside the other. They threw
these relics on the bed and chose one of them on which the word
"Father" was written. They opened and read it.
It was one of those old-fashioned letters which one finds in old
family desk drawers, those epistles which smell of another century.
The first one started: "My dear," another one: "My beautiful little
girl," others: "My dear child," or: "My dear (laughter." And
suddenly the nun began to read aloud, to read over to the dead woman
her whole history, all her tender memories. The judge, resting his
elbow on the bed, was listening with his eyes fastened on his
mother. The motionless body seemed happy.
Sister Eulalie, interrupting herself, said suddenly:
"These ought to be put in the grave with her; they ought to be used
as a shroud and she ought to be buried in it." She took another
package, on which no name was written. She began to read in a firm
voice: "My adored one, I love you wildly. Since yesterday I have
been suffering the tortures of the damned, haunted by our memory. I
feel your lips against mine, your eyes in mine, your breast against
mine. I love you, I love you! You have driven me mad. My arms open,
I gasp, moved by a wild desire to hold you again. My whole soul and
body cries out for you, wants you. I have kept in my mouth the taste
of your kisses--"
The judge had straightened himself up. The nun stopped reading. He
snatched the letter from her and looked for the signature. There was
none, but only under the words, "The man who adores you," the name
"Henry." Their father's name was Rene. Therefore this was not from
him. The son then quickly rummaged through the package of letters,
took one out and read: "I can no longer live without your caresses."
Standing erect, severe as when sitting on the bench, he looked
unmoved at the dead woman. The nun, straight as a statue, tears
trembling in the corners of her eyes, was watching her brother,
waiting. Then he crossed the room slowly, went to the window and
stood there, gazing out into the dark night.
When he turned around again Sister Eulalie, her eyes dry now, was
still standing near the bed, her head bent down.
He stepped forward, quickly picked up the letters and threw them
pell-mell back into the drawer. Then he closed the curtains of the
bed.
When daylight made the candles on the table turn pale the son slowly
left his armchair, and without looking again at the mother upon whom
he had passed sentence, severing the tie that united her to son and
daughter, he said slowly: "Let us now retire, sister."